As the festive season grips us, I indulge myself in my annual tradition of watching the widely acclaimed Nativity (2009).
But this year, I began to notice the absolute health and safety hellscape this film is.
We open in a fairly regular British primary school. A worn-out teacher (Mr. Maddens) and a Christmas obsessed TA (Mr. Poppy). Christmas is cancelled in Mr. Maddens’ classroom until the idea of a nativity play is forced upon him. And then the bedlam begins.
First, an unauthorised trip to a ‘rival’ school where the children commit heinous acts of violence against each other. No risk assessments filled out, and in the case of children leaving the school ground without permission, the police would have been called and Mr. Maddens and Mr. Poppy immediately fired.
Next, Mr. Poppy takes two children to AMERICA to track down Mr. Maddens’ ex-girlfriend. How much Christmas cheer can you find in the borderline kidnapping of children, one of whom was asthmatic! What on earth was planned for if they had an asthma attack or god forbid had to go to hospital? Without permission from parents Mr. Poppy would be giving that child an all expenses paid trip through the E.R! God forbid any formal planning happen in reference to any trip taking place in this film.
And just the cherry on the top, the finale, the nativity. Children on wires, flying without proper safety gear. Small children manning heavy machinery and complex technology. No rehearsal using moving staging until the final performance. Live animals. Open flames. A REAL baby. I think I’m going to faint.
Considering all of this, it is a fabulous film and I will continue to watch it and love it.
So to wrap up this mess of holiday hazards, I wish you all a happy holiday and new year (apart from you Mr. Maddens).
By Betty Ransom
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